Malaysia 笑话

The 9 Most Important Men In A Woman's Life

1. THE DOCTOR : because he says : "Take off your clothes"
2. THE DENTIST : because he says : "Open wide"
3. THE HAIRDRESSER : because he says : "Do you want it teased or blown?"
4. THE MILKMAN : because he says : "Do you want it in the front or the back?"
5. THE INTERIOR DECORATOR : because he says : "Once it's in, you'll love it"
6. THE STOCK BROKER: because he says: "It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while and then slowly fall back again"
7. THE BANKER : because he says : "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest"
8. THE HUNTER : because he says : "I go deep in the bush, shoot twice and always eat what I shoot"
9. THE TM (Telecom) GUY : because he says : "Would you like it on the table or against the wall?"


Pua Chu Kang(PCK) Teaching Sex Education

Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?

PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjolable becaws, same like when you dig your
nose with your finger mah !

Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?

PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose
feel better than your finger, right ?

Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?

PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over
and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah !

Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her
menses?

PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow
ah ! Use your blain, use your blainnn ..........

Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are
making love ?

PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a
glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah.
Corlight or not?

Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?

PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn ........... you
go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid
lah!!

Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.

PCK : Aiyah ...... ," Best in Singapore, JB, some say Batam, and now, the whole world!"
also ah!!!

Purely M'sian jokes

Have you seen the Made-in-Malaysia car "Kancil"?
You know, that very little 600 cc car ???
Well, Dr M really wanted to sell it to the US, so when Dr M
paid a visit to the White House after finishing formal discussions with
George Bush, Dr M checks with Bush to find out if there is a way to sell
the Kancil in the USA.

After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, "You know,I think
this 'Kernchill' is too small for us Americans."
Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Bush
offered, "Ok,take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and
he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North
America."
Dr M was satisfied
with the meeting and returns to Malaysia.
The next day he called the number and a lady answered,"TOYS R US",
can I help you?"


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Mr. Samy-vellu went for the United Nations' meeting.
He represented the Malaysian Prime Minister.
All nations were discussing about space exploration by the year
2008.
Here are some of the conversations:
China Delegate : "By the year 2008, China will start their moon
exploration project."
Russian Delegate : "We too, we are going to explore the moon.
This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the
moon."
George Bush & Clinton : "We the United States will also explore
the moon for the second time."
Malaysian Delegate: "By the year 2008, Malaysia will explore the sun."

There was a long
silence. Bush stood up and asked the
Malaysian delegate: "Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?"
Samy Vellu (after a long silence): "We will do it in the evening."


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There are three major races in Malaysia - Malay, Chinese and
Indian.
The Malays have the political power and so they set up the party
UMNO, which literally means "U Must Not Object".
The Chinese, on the other hand, controls most of the Economy and
They called their party MCA which means "Money Conquers All".
Then there are the Indians who have no say in politics or
economics.?They set up their party called MIC. Hence, every Parliamentary
meeting the Indians would ask: "Must I Come?"